How Happy Couples Keep Their Relationships Strong
Being in a relationship can feel like a full-time job. So what’s the secret ingredient to relationship happiness and longevity? The secret is that there isn’t just one secret!
Successful couples do a number of things to keep the spark alive and to manage conflict. The tactics that’ll work for you and your main squeeze will be unique to your relationship and your personalities, but you’re bound to find something on this list that works like a charm.
They Care About Hygiene (and Appearance)
Being in a loving relationship means coming down with the flu without worrying about what your partner thinks. Hygiene still matters, though, regardless of how long you’ve been together. Don’t get lax when it comes to things like brushing your teeth, showering or wearing clean clothes.
The same goes for the rest of your appearance. You don’t have to spend every day in the gym or obsess about extra pounds you put on during the holidays. But if you become a much different person from who you were when you first met, relationship problems may follow.
They Know Marriage Isn’t Necessarily the Goal
When it comes to what people want in life, love and partnership outweigh marriage. Sharing a life together doesn’t have to include marriage, and as social norms change, the tradition of marriage is less important (to some people). Love and partnership, though, have remained priorities.
Some couples do say that getting married made them happier in their relationships. However, that doesn’t mean they need to get married to be happy. Today, marriage isn’t a prerequisite to a happy, healthy relationship, and those who do get married often do so for love above all else.
Each Person Changes Themselves Instead of Each Other
Accepting the person you’re with is easier and more realistic than attempting to change them. Instead of pressuring them to become someone else, work on improving your outlook. Bonus: Wholeheartedly accepting one another means you’ll get into fewer arguments.
You may also find that you accidentally lead by example. Let’s say it drives you nuts that your girlfriend stays up until 4 a.m. every day. Instead of repeatedly asking her to come to bed, let it go and turn in when you want. By removing the pressure, she may be more encouraged to compromise.
They Make Time for Intimacy and Affection
Happy couples make time to be intimate regularly, and they feel satisfied (if not thrilled) with their level of connection. They may be willing to take chances and think outside the box in the bedroom. While stress can get in the way of intimacy, the strongest couples have alone time at least once a week.
Intimacy isn’t always about sex, either. Affectionate couples hold hands, cuddle while watching a movie or hug each other while sipping coffee in the morning. Bonus points if you can continue being affectionate even when you’re not 100% happy with one another.
They Give Each Other Undivided Attention
Is there anything more annoying than trying to talk to someone as they look back and forth at their phone? Happy couples recognize when one person needs to speak, and they’re glad to listen intently. By looking at your partner while they’re talking, you communicate that they’re important to you.
Furthermore, savvy couples know when one partner wants someone to listen only instead of when they’re asking for advice. By listening, even if it means biting your tongue or keeping something to yourself, you show that you know and respect what the other person needs.
They Crack Each Other Up
Laughing is the quickest way to release feel-good endorphins and get in a better mood (and it’s more fun than running a mile). Happy couples make each other laugh or purposely watch something funny, like standup comedy. They go out of their way to inject fun into their time together.
Remember to do this when you least feel like it. A crummy day at work or a relationship fight you’re still recuperating from can vanish after an hour of laughter. Making a point to be lighthearted together can relieve a lot of stress.
Their Main Goal Is Commitment
Happy couples knew they wanted to be committed from the beginning. No, they didn’t necessarily know they wanted to commit to the person they took on a first date, but they knew that they wanted to be in a relationship.
Couples who intend to find something permanent are happier than those who’d originally wanted a fling, even when both types of couples stay together. Plus, you never have to wonder if the other person really wants to be in a relationship or if they feel they got stuck in a commitment they didn’t want.
They Regularly Compliment Each Other
Compliments are lovely for the recipient to hear, but they do the giver just as much good. When you compliment your significant other, you remind yourself of all the things you love about them. It’s hard to take someone for granted when you compliment them every day.
Compliments can do wonders for self-confidence. Plus, they can make the recipient feel grateful for having you in their life. And they may even start noticing positives to compliment you on. Just remember to keep praise sincere; it can be pretty obvious when someone is forcing a compliment.
They Find Unique Ways to Enjoy Time Together
Quality time is a must if you want to have a solid relationship, but the busier life gets, the harder it is to spend time together. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, the struggle is even more real. It’s a good thing there’s so much tech to help out.
Connecting regularly has never been easier thanks to texting and video calls. Check in throughout the day to find out how the other’s doing or to send a funny meme. If you can’t be together, schedule FaceTime calls when you have a moment to chat.
